I can't believe I am already 24 weeks pregnant. In less than 16 weeks I will be a mother of two. Every night after I put my sweet boy to sleep, and Jonathan drifts into dreamland I just lay in bed and bond with my wiggling little baby girl. Baby GIRL, wow I still get a huge smile across my face every time I say it. The crazy thing is, I know for a fact I would have had the same silly smile even if she were a boy. I just feel so blessed to be having another baby, that I'm able to create a beautiful little being inside me again! This pregnancy is so different from my last, maybe its because I'm older and wiser - maybe its because I'm at a better place in life, who knows. But I'm ecstatic. I feel so in love with her already & honestly even more bonded with Austin. Its still a big surprise every time I feel that little jab in my ribs, or the bouncing on my bladder - lol I don't think its a feeling you can ever get used to. But every night I just find myself laying in bed, with my hand on my stomach waiting for her next move, giggling as I watch my whole stomach jiggle because she's bouncing around inside.
Because of the fact Austin was a high risk pregnancy I have been able to see baby P (by the way we are naming our beautiful princess Paisley Gray) quite a bit more than most. I have been seeing a specialist on top of my OB to keep tabs on her and watch out for CDH - to make sure it wasn't genetic. I have been able to see her in ultrasounds several times already and watch her move around and hide from us. By the way, she is healthy. HEALTHY!! You have no idea how much more that word is important to me than i ever imagined. Health, is taken for granted by many, and the fact that we have been blessed with a special needs baby, who is healthy now - but had to fight for his life to get there, makes the fact that his sister doesn't have to fight any of the same battles so special to us. This is going to be a completely new experience to us. Austin was in the NICU for 6 months, so we didn't ever experience a newborn baby. Jon and I are in for a new journey!! Long nights (crossing our fingers) bottles, and PINK! lol It still shocks me, I have purchased so much pink lately!!!!
4 years ago Jon was anti more babies. He was scared out of his mind we would have to experience something like that all over again, but when my mom suggested i take a pregnancy test, he jumped up with so much excitement and went with my mom to buy it! SO different from our first experience thats for sure lol. We had just gotten back from booking our wedding venue in Temecula and I was just exhausted, so I went along with their plan - and once those two little pink lines showed up i swear Jon was more excited than I. I actually cried - from stress. haha all i could picture was the crazy year i had ahead of me, but as of now i wouldn't have it any other way! Our little princess is meant to be there when we say I do, to one another. Right next to her big brother.
I swear this little girl is going to have her daddy wrapped around her little fingers!! I never really had a great father figure in my life - i had a step father, but i wouldn't say he did much for me, but teach me everything i didn't want my husband to be, or the kind of parent i DIDNT want to be. And biological sperm donor, lets just say - its his loss. But i am so excited for my daughter to experience that love i never had. i want nothing more than for her to be a daddy's girl. He is going to love that girl more than she can every imagine, and I'm perfectly fine with beings daddy's second girl :)
The biggest promise I have made to myself - is continue doing what Im doing with Austin. He will not be neglected and we will continue to live as normal as a life as we can. He makes me world go round. His innocence is just so beautiful to me and he deserves EVERYTHING. I have been blessed with my precious little family, and i can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Sorry for my late night rambles that make no sense! Hope you enjoyed a little peek inside my thoughts! And Happy Cerebral Palsy Awareness month! Stay tuned for some more posts pertaining to that topic, and we will be hosting a giveaway in the next couple days featuring some of our favorite shops! Keep your eyes peeled!
xoxo B
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